What is greater than being able to express yourself? It is to be seen, heard and received.

Every person has a deep desire to be loved, appreciated and approved of. When you are not yet connected to your own power and greatness within, the need for external approval and appreciation is much bigger. Sometimes to a point of being desperate. And out of desperation, a lot of errors are made until we learn our own intentions. Sometimes the hard way.

Stepping into your own power lends you authenticity, wisdom, grace, and your highest expression to the world. When you learn to use your voice for what you stand for, there are people who will resonate with that. You won’t know who they are unless you speak and express. The more you show up, the more they do and very soon a circular energy flow is created. You grow from each other. You start to create a circle of impact to a point where they cannot wait to hear what you have to say next.

I am sure you have at least one relative or friend who is like that. You will find these in all ages, social-economic groups, cultures, religions and countries. This quality of women seems to transcend all definitions and boundaries. Whatever they do or choose, they happily share that experience with their friends and for some strange reason, their friends also jump on the same bandwagon because there is a level of trust with what this person uses or purchases or endorses. Almost like this relative or friend takes the personal responsibility for the welfare of others, for improving or adding or contributing to the lives of others and you cannot taint that by offering them money. This relative or friend may probably even get offended if you do. It defeats their main purpose…whatever it may be for each of them.  (being influential does that you). It’s known as “Motivation Crowding” a term coined by Rolf Dobelli.

All influential people grow up with a deep-rooted sense of wanting more for themselves and sharing that with others. Wanting that for others as well. And desiring to be the facilitator or medium for it.

Being influential comes from that deeper space within you. It comes from a knowing of who you are, what value you create for others, what space you occupy in the world, what are you becoming or have become the expert in or master of and what qualities you stand for. A leader is not to lead by itself. It is more about serving others. Leaders are about the collective, the bigger picture and yet the smaller stuff that counts. Noticing and leveraging subtleties and nuances where needed and at times stepping back to go big.

What is your one true potential that you know can create value for others?

The art of being influential is the exponentialization of that potential in a valuable way.

How do you arrive at this?

What are the things you are naturally good at?

If you are not aware of it (and most of us aren’t), ask your closest friends and family, it’s mostly one of the things they love you for.

Where do you spend even a little bit of time but it ends up having a large circle of impact on others?

You may get responses that are very different from what you thought you are good at from people you mean well for you. But are these things that if you take them out into the world, would create a huge circle of impact?

The other thing is to understand who needs what from you amongst the list of things you are naturally good at. And here is where we strike a balance.

Never dismiss your entire life story too. We all have our version of the hero’s journey. Every person, business, company, the brand has a story and people connect with each other based on that story. How you have lived your life can inspire people, even if you don’t think that it’s a big deal. One of the primary principles of influence is connection and your story is your greatest asset even without trying.

Women find the art of being influential much easier. And with a gentle polarity shift occurring around the world of women leaders rising, this form of art is taking precedence over the archaic commanding leadership or dominance. Women naturally network, collaborate, work well in groups, are resourceful as these were all survival mechanisms to rear children and manage the homestead in ancient times. It’s in the DNA.

Influencing is about inspiration, choice, and resonance. People are looking for someone to lead the way to what they desire to create and if they see you have done something pretty close to what they want for themselves, it’s easy as apple pie. You have to be ready to be seen, heard, desired and perhaps even followed, although that may not be the main agenda. It is more about creating an impact rather than having a flock of sheep to rear and manage.

It is so much easier to be an influential leader today. A couple of decades ago you had to do this either in business or politics or with social causes. Now it includes lifestyle, travel, education, fashion, and so many other areas in creativity, business, education and so on. The world has literally been popped up with social media. With so much offered on so many platforms, it is even more critical to apply what I started with on this blog.

What value do you create and for whom and how?

What characteristics do you need to become an influential leader once you know what value you bring others?

• Credibility

Fakeness can be sniffed out quicker than you realize. You may be able to fool some people for some time, but not for long. Be clear about how much you know about what you know. Be willing to say I don’t know. Honesty is appreciated far greater than knowledge. Let your actions speak louder than your words. Let your words match your energy and your actions your words. All of this establishes credibility which leads to being a sustainable leader who can grow their area of influence.

• Trust

Make only promises that you can keep. A leader must be trustworthy for anyone to place their faith in them. Making it personal in the sphere of your what you are influencing them with adds to it. If you are a life coach and you create a lot of content out there, then crediting your content or revealing the source of your content makes a huge difference in building trust. People need to know that they are not being misled or lied to.

• Share

An influential leader will have nothing to hide, there’s no shame. There’s ownership of experiences and learnings from it. It is all worth sharing. To strengthen your own “brand” of leadership so to speak, being willing to be transparent and share highlights your humanity and that is the connecting point with people. Lives are messy, beautiful and everything in between and to share that from no judgment offers others a chance to do the same.

• Authenticity

What you see is what you get. Not putting on a show for ratings or points or followers or influence. You aren’t like the layers of an onion that peel off over time revealing layers to others. If that happens as a result of evolving that’s different and that too will be seen and known as authentic. True authenticity is willing to be seen with no fortress or shield or protection. There is great vulnerability in which itself lies strength.

• Be the invitation

You are so busy being yourself that you invite others to do the same. To be themselves. Leading by inspiration is one of the best forms. Using what you have to create a greater circle of impact and influence.

This is an appeal more to women than men reading this. This is easy for you. I reiterate that. If you have a deep desire to lead, it’s just about finding what it is that is going to put you there. What value do you bring? What is it that you are great at that people are looking for? What do you do so easily that you don’t even care so much about it? These questions will generate a deeper awareness for you. Start from there. Don’t worry about the end result or how you will get there. The universe is only wanting you to begin. It will map the rest out for you as you go along. Be willing to be taken for a ride and a great one!
Love,
Aditi Nirvaan